i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Randomize
