And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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