so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
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