btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
