We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
