we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
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I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
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I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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