I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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