what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
