I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize