Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
zippers are such a cool invention
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
When did we convert life to cartoon?
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
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