The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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