dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
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