Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
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