Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
