Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Randomize
