Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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