end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
