in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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