I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Randomize
