Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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