whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Randomize
