As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
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