Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
don't judge my taste in strippers
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Randomize
