Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
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I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
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i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
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