Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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