Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
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