i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
Randomize
