It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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