so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize
