woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
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btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
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