Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
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