every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
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