In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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