I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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