I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
