nut hugger
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Randomize
