it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably