Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
