Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
