I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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