I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Randomize
