You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
