I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
