And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
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