is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Randomize
