perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
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how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
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