i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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