She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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