I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Randomize
