wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
