My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
