oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
