Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Randomize
