I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
