good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
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And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
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Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C