Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(713): View more from Texas

I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...

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(713): I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist... http://tfl.nu/i7x2

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency

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(781): it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency http://tfl.nu/st67

Replies (20) Good night (3653) Bad night (591) Order T-Shirt
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(559): View more from California

We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.

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(559): We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley. http://tfl.nu/4bq4

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(609): View more from New Jersey

if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless

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(609): if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless http://tfl.nu/3wa2

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(916): View more from California

WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.

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(916): WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN. http://tfl.nu/3mw6

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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.

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(484): I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits. http://tfl.nu/dr6q

Replies (20) Good night (3487) Bad night (830) Order T-Shirt
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(714): View more from California

we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz

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(714): we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz http://tfl.nu/j793

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(773): View more from Illinois

Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach

(630): View more from Illinois

Me toooooo!! Margaritas

(773): View more from Illinois

I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good

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(773): Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach (630): Me toooooo!! Margaritas (773): I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good http://tfl.nu/3y14

Replies (51) Good night (1157) Bad night (3650)
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(718): View more from New York

She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.

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(718): She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on. http://tfl.nu/7c2k

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(661): View more from California

He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.

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(661): He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian. http://tfl.nu/6vas

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(512): View more from Texas

I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.

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(512): I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight. http://tfl.nu/hr3p

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(336): View more from North Carolina

You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.

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(336): You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens. http://tfl.nu/3z5p

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(859): View more from Kentucky

you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.

(1-859): View more from Kentucky

ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...

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(859): you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection. (1-859): ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave... http://tfl.nu/0oli

Replies (3) Good night (638) Bad night (431)
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(318): View more from Louisiana

A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"

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(318): A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?" http://tfl.nu/oinl

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(925): View more from California

I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability

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(925): I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability http://tfl.nu/3svt

Replies (1) Good night (173) Bad night (242) Order T-Shirt

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