remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.