We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
