i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
