just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
